Travel Stressors: React / Respond

I just returned to California after a 2-week-long trip to the East Coast. I had the chance to catch up with family and friends, some of which I hadn't seen in a year. During this vacation, I experienced a slew of emotions, not only because of the people I saw and the time I had, but also because of the (not so) simple act of traveling.
  

Overload

My trip from Monterey to New York consisted of three connecting flights. This in itself is a recipe for disaster, but it was the cheapest option I could find. My first flight, from Monterey to San Francisco, was delayed about 30 minutes. As the connecting time between the first and second flight was only 45 minutes, this made my chances of making all three flights very slim. While sitting at the airport alone (as in, literally not one other person was waiting for this flight) I was feeling overwhelmed. On one hand, I was stressing out about everything that could, and probably would, go wrong: this flight had been cancelled and they had forgotten to post that information anywhere, the flight would not arrive to San Francisco with enough time for me to make my connection, the flight WOULD arrive in time but because my connection was at the opposite end of the airport, I wouldn't be able to get there quickly enough, etc. However, the other part of my brain was jittery with excitement about getting there, being with my family for the holidays, and seeing friends that I have missed spending time with. I didn't feel like I had the control to choose which emotions to feel because my mind was being overloaded with thoughts, both positive and negative.

Selection

The flight wasn't cancelled, and three other people showed up for it (yes, there were only four people on this flight), so we boarded the plane. The planes at this airport are large enough to hold about 45 people and have propellers on either side of the aircraft.

As I stretched out across two seats, I listened to the whirring sound of the propellers next to me and made a conscious decision to consider the sound relaxing, as opposed to alarming. Naturally, I had some feelings of fear, but I decided to view the causal agents of these feelings from another perspective. By doing this I was able to re-frame the emotion and choose the more comforting alternative. This was a particularly useful strategy in this moment, and I am glad that I was able to employ it; had I allowed the fear to rule over my thoughts, I am not sure that I would have felt calm enough to take the necessary steps to make my connecting flight (getting from this plane to another section of the airport where I had to catch a bus that would take me to the correct terminal and hauling it to the gate to catch the next flight). The process of selection is one I have not mastered and will continue to work on, because this experience has proved how beneficial it can be.

Recognition

After a long night of flying, I was relieved to arrive in New York. My parents came to pick me up from the airport and I was extremely happy to see them. As we began our journey home, I realized just how much I had forgotten about New York and how much I had adapted to California. The difference between these two places, specifically in regards to driving, is striking. In Monterey, it would be unusual to drive any faster than the speed limit on the highway, the lanes are wider, and there is just a general sense of leisure. In New York, there are inches between cars and wherever you can fit your car is considered a valid lane.

This sight made me smile. I was so thankful: thankful that I was not driving, thankful that I was back home, and thankful that I did not live in this helter-skelter city permanently. When I first moved to California, the easy-going pace of drivers frustrated me. I wanted to get to my destination as quickly as possible and I couldn't understand why others didn't feel the same way. I missed New York driving. This visit home has inspired in me an appreciation for both cities; I am now more able to see things from both sides and recognize that some of the things that frustrate me about a place are also the things that I may miss the most, because they are the very things that define it.

Response

Our flights back to Monterey were scheduled for January 1. After a fun New Year's Eve, we woke up early and got everything done so that we were at the airport in time. Or so we thought. After a series of unfortunate events, we attempted to check-in our bags 5 minutes passed the deadline, and were refused passage. I was overcome with negative emotions: sadness, frustration, defeat, dismay. I went to the ticket counter to see what our options were and was told to call the airline's reservations number. After an hour of back-and-forth, going through options that would have either cost over $1000 to book or that would arrive in airports 2 hours from our original destination, I was finally able to secure a flight for the next morning that didn't break the bank and flew into Monterey. I cannot deny that I was visibly distressed by the situation and that my reaction was not calm; however, I was able to step back from my emotions and devise a response that would help to resolve the issue.

While these two words may be listed as synonyms in the dictionary, there is a difference between reaction and response. Our reaction is immediate; it is the natural feeling that arises when something happens. We do not have control over it. Our response, however, is conscious. Although it is often very difficult, we do have the ability to control it. As I mentioned earlier, I am not an expert of this skill and it is one that I will continue to work on, because when I am able to respond instead of react, the result is always more in-line with my goals.