I am moving to Hawai'i in less than 5 days. Well, sort of. I'm going to Hawai'i, then Phoenix for a month, and then officially moving to Hawai'i on July 4th. Either way, I'm packing up all my belongings and moving again.
It is such a strange thing to be happy and sad all at once. I find it difficult to honor both feelings and I'm never sure which to attend to. In my last few days at home, I struggle to show that I am sad about leaving without acting depressing, so I try to focus on the part of moving that makes me happy. I just hope that by doing this I am not disappointing those around me; I hope that they know how much I wish I could stay with them, or at least bring them with me. :)
Moving certainly forces me to evaluate the different aspects of my life in the same way that I have to evaluate what is worth packing. When you are limited to two bags, you have to make those decisions whether you want to or not. While my life is not really limited to "two bags", long-distance relationships (not just romantic) require a fair amount of time and effort to maintain, and my time and effort are limited.
I am forever trying to move in the direction of positivity. I want to spend my time and effort on the people in my life that are also moving in that direction. I want to cheer those people on and feel confident knowing that they will do the same for me, no matter how far apart we may be. It is easy to feel alone when you are on an island far away; I need people who make me feel at home.
"Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be." - C. Joybell C.
I am looking forward to setting sail and starting the next chapter of my life in paradise, but it is bittersweet. I am so glad to have had this time at home with my family and friends, and I am more sure than ever of what and who I will miss. I am so grateful to have people in my life that make me feel as though I never left when I come back 'home'. The rest is excess baggage.
